I don’t hate smiling. I don’t hate people who smile. I don’t hate people who like people who smile. Everybody should be free to smile and like everything they want to like.
What I hate, really, is people who judge other people based on a 30 seconds interaction. And what I hate even more is people who like to make it clear they’re judging you for absolutely no valid reason.
What does smiling has to do with this? Simple: people who don’t smile a lot tend to be judged more frequently and more harshly than people who do. How do I know that? Because it happens to me way more often than I’m comfortable with (and every time it happens it makes me want to cease all form of human interaction for. ever.).
I’ve heard, and what I’m saying here is that I actually HEARD people (people as in more than one person) saying it out loud right in front of me, strangers saying I’m “arrogant”, that I’m “mean”, all because of my face.
Let me repeat: in less than 30 seconds a total stranger decided that I’m “mean” because of my face. Because I wasn’t smiling. And that stranger turned around just a little bit and said in a very audible whisper the verdict of her judgement, pretending she didn’t want me to hear it.
I’m not a hypocrite, so I’ll be the first to admit I also judge people on the way they look or move or act. I don’t have a choice since it is an automatic thing the human brain does. No one can control it. However, since I was very well raised by my parents, I know that, no matter what my brain is telling me, I have no business deciding what other people are or are not. And I definitely know that, no matter how loud my brain is yelling at me, I should never ever in all eternity randomly throw my judgement at other people.
See, my unconfirmed and biased judgement is MY burden. It is only mine. The other person did not ask to be judged (in most cases) and I have no right to make them deal with my unrequited opinions. That is basic education. It is a matter of simple, easy-to-learn common sense.
Yet, I find people ruining my day (because it’s very difficult to keep the good mood after being randomly called arrogant or mean by a stranger) because I didn’t feel like beaming like a sunshine or being bubbly at the particular moment they were talking to me.
I am a shy person, which means I’m naturally more reserved around humans I don’t know (and that should be enough), but my lack of sunshine-ness could have been caused by literally (and I mean literally) an infinite number of reasons. My cat could have just died. My grandmother could have just broken her leg. I could be cranky because of a) too much heat; b) a bad night of sleep; c) my boyfriend just told me he is going to move to Iceland forever to become a priest and so on.
And YET, for some reason beyond my comprehension, strangers ignore the INFINITY of possibilities and just keep deciding that I am an arrogant bitch (sorry for the vulgar expression but it was really necessary this time).
I know I’m being very repetitive, but it is a very upsetting matter to talk about, even more upsetting because it is very present in my life.
A very trendy topic nowadays is to talk about diversity and acceptance, about religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender and all, but how can there be acceptance of such polarizing matters if people can’t even accept that not everyone is naturally outgoing?
So you’re a beaming ray of sunshine, you exude happiness from all the pores of your peppy body, you just can’t help smiling the soul out of you whenever a human face appears nearby. Good for you. I wish a life full of wonders and prosperity to you and all the ones blessed enough to be in the presence of your smile.
The only thing I ask, the only thing I desperately need is for you to leave me alone and just let me be the non-smiling aloof human I am. And if you don’t like people like me, well, DON’T tell me. I don’t want to know.
(Seriously though, it is 2017. It’s about time people knew shy, introverted and anti-social people exist and that pretty much all of them are harmless. They, we, EXIST and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.)
I am very sorry for the bitter tone of this chaotic ramble, but I really had to get it out of my system. There’s just that much bullshit I can take from rude and judgemental people before I snap.
Greetings from the Fox ∞